Thursday, July 24, 2008

Desperate times call for desperate measures

If you're squeamish or easily offended, don't read this. It's all g-rated, but really, when you're this pregnant, are you even considered a g-rated person anymore?

I think I actually qualify as "ridiculously pregnant" now. If in no other way besides mentally. If nothing else, maybe this will at least give you a laugh today. Or make you think I'm crazy. But that's not much of a secret anyway!

Ok, so I'll admit I've tried many of the old wives tales to get things going. Especially in the last week. I've tried many of them in the past, some of them have helped, some not, some have helped in one pregnancy and not in another. I know the odds are slim, but hey, worth a shot, right? So since I've not been this pregnant in, oh....10 yrs since my first pregnancy, in the past week I've resorted to trying many. MANY. It kind of started out as a game. Now, it's not funny anymore! In the past 48hrs I've taken a nose dive from happy, sweet, smiley, cute preggo mama to don't tick me off-really, you've been warned, don't push it. I'm still feeling probably better than I should at this point, but now I'm getting mean. I don't like being mean. but at least I can still put on a happy face when the phone rings or someone is at the door. I have nearly perfected the art of faking it.

So, what have I tried? I have:
*Eaten a pineapple
*Spent a ridiculous amount of time walking-including hilly neighborhoods
*Been, um, well, if you've been to this point in pregnancy you know what I'm talking about (keeping things rate G)
*Had a pedicure
*Used pressure points (which will cause some ctx)
*Run stairs
*Used the elliptical
*Been using EPO for weeks (which thankfully has given my cervix a good start!)
*Mowed the lawn-and may do it again today
*Gone hiking (yes, really hiking, like in the mountains)
*attempted a membrane stripping (so does really invasive exam count? lol)
*Driven the dirt road home (only twice though-not willing to risk the tires again. But the kids love that ride in the van!)
*and then there was yesterday.....

I caved and did castor oil. (yes I've done all the research, and imo the meconium link is totally bunk, so no I don't worry about that) I have done it in the past, and it hadn't worked, but I figured that my cervix is more effaced and dilated that it ever was when I tried it before, so maybe, just *maybe* it would make a difference this time. nope. (but hey-I feel GREAT today! lol) A couple of hours of some fairly regular contractions that started puttering out by the early evening. So what do I do when they start to slow down? Get active of course! Did I take a nice walk around the block? No. I went and played soccer. Yes, at 39wks pregnant with my 7th child, I went and played soccer. Granted it was mostly kids (only 3 adults), but honestly, it wasn't stand around and kick the ball back in the game when it came my way, I actually played. Like got out there and played played. I got a little over-zealous at one point and the ball went over the neighbor's fence. He got a good laugh when he came over to see what was really going on! And as a result (drumroll please) contractions actually STOPPED. For real? They stopped. Nothing. One little ligament pain for a minute or so and that's it. Oh, I am walking with a hint of a waddle today if I don't consciously avoid it, but that's all. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero. I did sleep really well last night though. I guess that's good. I actually debated ordering a $3 amniohook or amnicot yesterday and paying the $30 to ship it overnight. Allright, I'm kind of kidding-I'm not actually crazy enough to do that on my own (although if she were engaged and my bag was bulging, I just might....). I know, I know, I'm not even to my due date yet. But at this point, I would be willing to put money on the fact that my body just doesn't start and finish labor on it's own. period. Pitocin was created for people like me that can't give birth without a jump start either at the beginning or in the middle of the whole process. Oh well. The cervix of steel is a good thing b/c I never have to worry about preterm labor, right?

All I can think of is the Friends episode when Rachel is overdue and just randomly looks down at her belly and yells "get out, get out, GET OUT!"

But hey-I'm still wearing my ring! (and not because it's stuck!) I think though, that the heels have now been put away until baby is out. Dang-I bought some really cute ones last week too. But I did get to wear them on Sunday. So from here on out, flip flops it is I guess.

Tonight: Chinese food. But only because I've been craving it for a week and dang it-I deserve it! This kid is never coming out. But at least it makes for a good story.


Kerri said...

I had one friend that would tell you to jump on a tramp. She ran a survey and 47 out of 50 went into labor afterward. So there you go. I go for the scheduled c-sections! At least I always knew when they were coming.

Lisa said...

Pitocin is my drug of choice too; although a good membrane striiping got Tucker to come on out!

Kelsey said...

no worries, tomorrow he will strip em' and you'll be good to go. If not, I will buy you a freakin tramp!!!!!!!!!

Mary W. said...

what do the shoes look like???

justdawn said...

This was an entertaining post:)

Good luck with the whole eviction process! I can't wait to "meet" Baby Charlotte:)

Aaron said...

waaaa waaaa

She comes when she comes.


(That post ought to stir up a hornets nest of people.)