Baby Update

Long story short, mostly just more of the same.

Samuel's vents have increased in size, but considering that he is three weeks bigger/older than last time we measured things, that isn't very surprising.

While yes, optimally the vent size would stay stable making the ratio of fluid to head size less and allowing his brain less pressure and some room to actually sit instead of being squished up against the sides of his skull, we weren't expecting that to happen. And considering the alternatives, this isn't too bad.

Last time his ventricles were measuring roughly 15 and 18mm, yesterday they were 19.7 and 22.3mm. His head is still measuring large, but is now measuring 3 weeks ahead instead instead of the 2 weeks ahead it was measuring in the past. This isn't necessarily a horrible thing-if his head is growing a little bigger then it might give his brain tissue some room to develop instead of just being so compressed, but we also don't necessarily want his head to get huge because of the problems that this can mean for both myself and baby. It's kind of one of those things we feel stuck in the middle of-either way comes with benefits and risks.

He is still nice and active, and the rest of his body looks flawless. We even got to see what it looks like to watch hiccups via ultrasound. That was kind of fun.

The one really disheartening part of yesterday's appointment was the dr we met with. I am not an idiot. I get that I am not the dr, not the one who went to school for all those years, but that does not make me an idiot. And quite frankly, when it comes to things pregnancy childbirth related, I certainly feel like I know more than the average person. I feel like I'm getting there with some components of hydrocephalus as well. I certainly don't know it all and would never pretend to think that, but I am not stupid.

So when 99% of what came out of this dr's mouth yesterday contradicted everything we have been told or discussed with perinatologists over the past month, as well as all the research I have done on my own, it was a huge red flag for me. There were a couple of comments that the dr made that clearly told me "this is not even worth commenting on, let alone arguing with her." It was very plain that she-in many ways-was much of what ticks me off about drs; "I'm the dr, you have no say in any of this, this is the way it is, this is the way it will go, and that's the way it is!"

Not worth my effort to even comment.

It ticked poor Aaron off and scared him in addition to that to have gone from the aspect and opinion of drs who wanted our input and thoughts and actually cared about what we feel toward this entire situation to a dr who actually told us "this is not about you. This is not about avoiding a surgery on yourself because you "don't want" it. This is about the baby. not you." Of course she also told us that even talking about inducing this baby more than a week early was not possible-unless baby's life was on the line (and eventually she conceded my life as well), and that inducing two weeks early would only be possible with amnio to check for lung maturity and steroids for baby. She actually told us that anything before then is "essentially terminating your baby." Yes, she used those words.

And I said nothing, because I realized it wasn't even worth it to point out her factual medical errors. You know, that the vast majority of drs won't stop labor at 35 wks (5wks early). Or that I've had an elective induction at 38wks (2wks early), or that I've given birth to half of my children at 38wks. Or the kicker-that the actual medical definition of a "full term" baby is 37 weeks. But heaven forbid my baby be born at 37-that's termination according to her.

She blew off tests that the perinatologists (and leading hydrocephalus researchers) sing the praises of as being extremely helpful in situations like ours, and insisted on some totally unnecessary tests.

Needless to say, I will NOT see that dr again.

Upon looking up her credentials and position when I returned home I found that she is a clinical geneticist. Why she thinks that gives her clout to comment on how my pregnancy and delivery will be handled, I do not know.

But being one of those people who will occasionally get to a dr appointment with a question or two, the fact that I have a page and a half of questions and concerns after yesterday's appointment speaks volumes on how convoluted everything I was told yesterday is. I'm so glad this is happening at a point in my life when I have the gumption to address my concerns instead of going along with something just because a dr told me so. When I've educated myself more and have the research to back up my opinions on the situation. When I know that the drs work for ME, not the other way around and that I have every right to look for other drs if I find it necessary-that I'm not stuck with someone just because they happened to be the dr I saw one day.

But hey, my baby is beautiful. He is strong. And he is well enough that we don't have to go recheck his measurements for 3 weeks.

And my next appointment is with a real doctor who we've already seen-and felt comfortable with. Hallelujah.