Things I learned today

A size 3 Target diaper will absorb roughly half a toilet bowl of water. If placed in toilet when dry. This much absorption then makes it too big to flush. Thank goodness.

Star shaped confetti is dangerous to bare feet when sticking up out of the carpet. Beware the stars.

Maybelline The Collosal Volum' Express mascara will indeed come out of carpet. Even when there en masse. Drawn in big thick streaks. Also it happens to smell really good in giant quantities. Who knew? (and it really is great mascara for it's intended purpose)

Mascara does not come off a 2yr old as well as it comes out of carpet. Even with eye makeup remover.

Body wash works better than eye makeup remover in taking mascara off a head to toe covered 2yr old. Except on the face. Clean and Clear face wash helps there.

When you find a giant wet spot on your carpet, just be safe and assume it isn't water. Doesn't matter that a giant mug with some water in it is next to that spot. Err on the side of caution.

(I can neither confirm nor deny the identity of the substance on the carpet)

Especially if you have a 2yr old with a missing diaper.

You know the squeezy lip gloss tubes? like this:

That little angled tip comes out. Which optimizes access to the smearing capabilities of sticky lipgloss.

When you are in your closet trying to wipe sticky lip gloss off things, the disposable diaper that is in your big bag (which is also in the closet and now half empty) cleans it up really really well.

Apparently my cosmetics are entirely too accessible.

It is not possible for toddlers to open boxes of crayons without tearing the box.

Also crayons look weird naked.

Always, always make sure the door is all the way closed.

M&Ms really are magic.

Forget peace talks with world leaders. Just start air dropping infinite numbers of packages of M&Ms and we can all just get along.

Or at least survive a Tuesday in the trenches of life with children.