Back to the trail

Monday night, kids in bed.

Working on that whole getting back in the swing of things for school, working on getting kids to bed at a decent hour.

(I will miss summer vacation desperately. A huge part of me really really wishes homeschooling was happening this year....)

Anyway-

It was too nice an evening to stay inside.

Besides, freedom from the light bed needed to be celebrated. Sam was begging to get out of the house for something other than a dr appointment or trip to the hospital.

We have this great mind-link vibe thing going on.

I laced up the Mizunos for a rousing and exhilerating....walk.

Ok, so honestly, I'm getting a little antsy. It's been what...almost 6wks since I've run? My body kind of just quit as I approached 34weeks pregnant. Stop, stop, I'm not jumping back in too fast, not overdoing things. I promised Aaron I'd wait at least three weeks until I even tried.

To be completely accurate, hours after delivery Aaron looked at me and said "August 25th. That's 3 weeks. NO RUNNING until at least August 25th." It was cute. And funny because honestly that hadn't even crossed my mind on that crazy day. Sweet of him to already be on top of worrying about me doing too much too soon.

Not to mention the fact that leaving home and having my baby more than 20 feet from me is something I am just not willing to do yet. That folks will be the real obstacle in returning to running. Physical recovery? cake. Emotionally coping with the fact that my child is no longer physically tethered to me is always a harder recovery for me.

But really and truly, the walk actually was exhilerating. It was amazing and beautiful and just made me giddy to be walking down the trail that I'd run with my little Sam tucked away in my belly, with him now strapped to my chest.

To take step after step along those same miles where some days I ran to escape the worries that totally consumed me from the end of March until 12 days ago, and where some days every step brought more worry and wonder and complete fear, where no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't run away from any of it.

I probably looked like a crazy lady, walking along grinning from ear to ear, patting the big bundle of fabric wrapped around my chest. It's ok to look crazy when you are living in your own little bubble. I think. And if it's not, I'm not worried about it.

Much of the worry and wonder is still there. I assume it will be every day of his life.

The nice thing is that now it is accompanied by the comfort of his weight in my arms, his breathing against my body.

For now the focus is to enjoy every second of every day with this little boy. It is to share every wonderful thing about this life and this world with him.

It seems very appropriate to start with the trail that traces along the fields just steps from home.....