Sunday, August 31, 2008

The Rebuttal: What REALLY happened

A good number of you have read a post entitled: "I'm a jerk". If you haven't, don't worry about it, and just go ahead and skip this post. If you have, you know exactly what I'm talking about. So, just to clear up any lingering concerns or misconceptions, I thought I'd let everyone know how it really went down.

First, I'd like to say that I love my husband dearly. Anyone who knows me in the least knows that! But there is a joke amongst some of our friends, in referring to him as A.B.E. As in initials. As in his name followed by Embellisher. heehee He tells a KILLER story! We should all be so entertaining. I have yet to see anyone fall asleep during one of his talks in church. Although that may also be due to volume, but whatever. I very much enjoy listening to him tell stories, they are usually much more exciting in his format! :P

That said-when I told him I'd have to post and clarify what actually went down last Monday, he said "Why? Is that not how it happened?" Well........sort of..... Yes, those are the events that took place. But, well, the way they were presented comes off, well, those of you who have read it know!

a-there are still toys at our house. No, he didn't really get rid of all of the toys. In fact, listing what we still have is almost dizzying! Little People, the play kitchen, blocks (regular and the giant make-a-playhouse sized ones), action figures, light sabers, cars, the puppets, a couple of the best Barbies (who needs 30 Barbies?), and each kid's favorite thing to sleep with among other things. Not to mention the baby toys. Yes, we did get rid of a ridiculous amount of play paraphernalia (think 9 years and 7 kids worth of toys! HOLY COW!), but it wasn't all of it. The good news is that it is much more containable, and it will be worlds easier to enforce the "put away what you are playing with before you get something else out" rule. And I'm no longer stepping on little plastic army men all over the basement floor. ouch no more. Plus, especially after seeing those Surfwise trailers (see previous post), I wanted to clean out anyway! It actually got started-and a great start it is!
b-There was no yelling! Yay! We all know how easy it is to yell to or at our kids, most of us do it much more often than we'd like, and sometimes more than we even realize. Aaron has made huge efforts to set a great example for all of us in not yelling. I think this was the first time a parent has been involved in the major cleanup of toys that there has been no yelling. It was great!
c-he really did only get involved because the kids asked him to. One day they will learn! :) Taylor and Alaina started fighting (about who was or wasn't doing enough (any) work) and when Taylor complained Aaron said "Do I need to come down and resolve this?" Taylor figured he'd be the winner and Alaina would get in trouble so he answered yes. One day they will figure out that it works out better when they resolve things themselves!
d-when Aaron says he "shot back" at me, you probably have a picture that came to mind, especially if you know how, um, enthusiastic he can be. No, it wasn't like that. And even if it had been, he would have repented of it quickly! ;) After I had gone through every toy that had been rounded up, I pulled the things I wanted kept, we discussed it, and we decided what was worth keeping.

And what seemed to be the biggest issue most people had was the postpartum comment. So I'm sucking it up and admitting that yes, I have had days that just flat out suck. I hate that word, but there really is no other that fits. I made my way through the baby blues that randomly hit the first week or two, but since then have had days where I spiraled back to something I've only ever experienced once before, and it was after giving birth to Jacob. I knew what it was, and of course I've been fighting it tooth and nail, but those of you who've been there know that it isn't easy. Thankfully Monday seemed to be my lowest point and things have gone much much better for the past six days. I really do enjoy feeling human as opposed to THAT way! (no fun) but obviously the timing of everything just crashing down on Monday was not optimal, especially when combined with the great basement clean-out. So, when we really sat down on Tuesday and talked about the whole of what went on on Monday evening, I had to come clean and be honest about just how far down I had fallen that day. I'm prideful and self-righteous (time to repent again!), and don't like admitting to times when I can't keep up. Even though he is my safe haven, it is still hard to come right out and say it, as it makes me feel like I'm failing him in some way. I guess I do ok at faking, because he really had no idea just how bad it had been. Ironic after my whole "don't beat yourself up", "find joy", "you don't have to do it all" talk last month, huh? So in effort to not be a complete hypocrite, I'm putting this out there. Not to ask for sympathy or help-although even without knowing I was having a hard time, my wonderful friends and neighbors have constantly offered help in the past few months-but just to fess up and take my own advice that it is ok to not be able to do it all, it's ok not to be perfect. And while we're on that subject, just to quash any lingering doubt, I totally cheat after giving birth. Girdle anyone? :P

So the PP comment was not from him-it really was from me. And yes, I really am doing much better-even on the days when I forgo the make-up and look really scary! heehee

Anyway-if you've made it this far, you really must have wanted the whole story! And now you have it.
Fewer toys, less stress, and the kids really did learn a valuable lesson.

Oh, and Heidi, the pedicure deal still stands!!


Cindi said...

It's fun to read your "version". I've been waiting for it. :) You have to save the Little People--they're just so dang cute.

Hope there are better days ahead.

justdawn said...

I am sorry that the baby blues got you down. Aaron portrayed himself to be a big jerk, but I know you well enough to know that you won't take any crap;)

About once a year we do a purge of all the junk we don't want/need, too...usually sometime before Christmas. It's about that time.

Hang in there and you know where to find me if you ever need to talk:)

Aaron said...

That was the title of the blog for a reason...I am a big jerk.

Justin said...

Too bad it all had to come to a head in the way it did, but a new start with things a little more simple will be good.

As for baby blues, now that you've acknowledged it, hopefully you're on your way back to feeling like you again. Good luck! You still have plenty of people around that are more than willing to help if any bad days return.

Kelsey said...


Kelsey said...

oh you are going to love what we're getting the gooers for Christmas. he he

Michael and Tiffany said...

Thanks for keeping it real! I loved both versions :)