Who needs a laugh?

It's obviously been a week around here.  So to celebrate, in addition to my foreign massage therapist, hourly daquiris and pounds of M&Ms, I thought I'd share a little joke.  Since most of us are wrapping up a week of watching the mail for W2s and "Important tax documents enclosed" envelopes, I give you Grandpa and the IRS Audit.

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."

"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Grandpa. "How about a demonstration?"

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead." 

Grandpa says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."

The auditor thinks a moment and says, "It's a bet."

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. 

The auditor's jaw drops. 

Grandpa says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet. 

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. 

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

 
"Want to go double or nothing?" Grandpa asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
 
Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major Loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands. 

"Are you okay?" the auditor asks. 

"Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it."

Good news, bad news

The good news, well actually-the BEST news: I will not be needing the overnight bag I packed after all!  Yippee!  We were planning on a lovely stay at Primary Children's tonight.

The bad news: Charlotte does have a pretty stinking darn bad case of RSV.   And apparently a killer ear infection as well.  

The good news: After spending most of the day between 103 - 104, and not going any lower than 101.5 even on Tylenol, she's finally sitting more comfortably just under 101.  Phew!

The other good news: Her respiratory rate is now also below 100 breaths per minute which is where she spent a good part of the day.  

The bad news:  She one sad and miserable little thing right now.

The good news:  Even with her resp rate sky high (along with a pulse rate of 180+), her Oxygen levels were close enough to 90% for a lengthy monitoring time that she is here at home, and currently not needing extra oxygen.  Let's hope it stays that way!

Hopefully REALLY good news:  Our pediatrician started a new treatment pattern for RSV patients last year and did not have a single one end up hospitalized.  That my friends, is nothing short of amazing.   Let's hope it works wonders for Charlotte as well and he keeps up his record!

Seems like life is handing Charli a nice congratulations for surviving 6 months with 6 siblings-let's throw something else at you, huh?  Poor thing.  We did finally get a smile out of her shortly before she went to bed tonight, and after not eating all day she finally ate again.  She's now been asleep for a full hour, which is also the best she's done in that department today.  I'm just so unbelievably glad that we're here in the comfort of our own home tonight.  Having done the baby stuck in the hospital thing more than once, I can honestly say that I hope not to repeat that.  It is truly a blessing to live so close to such an amazing children's hospital when you need it, but I hope not to need it again any time soon-or hopefully ever!  

We did get a weigh-in at our little jaunt to the ped's office this afternoon, which was kind of nice since her 6 month check up isn't scheduled for another two weeks and I'm always curious on the whole growth thing.  15lbs 3oz.  I was guessing around 16, so she's a bit smaller than I figured.  Yay for 3-6 month clothes fitting for a while longer! : )  

And just for a little bit of extra good news, I'm super excited for two friends of mine today;  One delivered a perfectly healthy little baby girl two days ago after years of trying, multiple miscarriages, and one loss well into her second trimester.  I'm so happy that she is finally getting a chance to live this wild ride called motherhood!  And along the same lines, another friend got the treat of seeing a little heartbeat after months of waiting, workups for fertility treatments, miscarriages, and prepping for IVF.  She's still at the very beginning, but I hope and pray that all goes wonderfully for her for the next 7 months!  

What a blessing that even on bad days there are so many wonderful good things to be thankful for!  I may be quarantined at home for a while, and look like a freak, but when it really boils down to what matters, Life is good.  : )  

(And yes, I know some of you are still waiting for the "Interview Me" questions-I promise they are coming, but it'll have to wait until my baby is better!)

Ketchup Bottles, paybacks, and other random tidbits

It's been a little while since I've dumped my brain here, so it's about time for some random nothingness from me.

First-a bunch of people have inquired about the large ketchup bottle seen in the pictures of the office from last week's Making a Happy Home Monday.  Yes, that is indeed a large pump style ketchup bottle.  

NO-it is NOT full of ketchup!  Seriously-like I don't have enough potential mess in my house, you think I'm going to keep a gallon of ketchup waiting to be pumped out all over my carpet?  geesh!  And I do realize that my brood is on the ginormous side of huge, but-and I know it will disapoint some of you-we do not buy ketchup in bottle large enough to supply your average New York City sidewalk hot dog cart.  So sorry!  So what is it and why is it in the office?  I do some assembly type work from home, and one of the products that has been in production lately has been a cleaning solution that goes in these tiny beaker-like bottles.  The ketchup pump makes the perfect dispensers to fill these little bottles, and the little duct tape band around the pump stops in just the right spot to fill the bottles to the perfect level.   So it's actually full of a cleaning solution .   And there you have it.

Paybacks.  Well, you know what they say paybacks are, so I'm not saying it!  I'm sure you'll remember last week's little experience with my boys.  If not, see the previous post, then if you're a glutton for punishment, watch the footage on my dear husband's blog.  Ok.  If you watch his post, you'll see a little blurb where he says something about it being better to seek forgiveness than ask permission.  Hmmm....  Which got me thinking.  Is it really?  Not sure still.  But I did get payback.  I've been playing around with the idea for a while, looking for the perfect deal.  My thinking is that if he wants to make my boys all look like little cue balls, I'd get him some cue sticks.  : )  I just happened to find the perfect deal yesterday.  Now hopefully it will fit around the hallway corner so we can get it downstairs!  I know, it's not payback in the traditional vengeance manner, but hey, I prefer this route!

Update on the leperosy: yes, I still have it.  Still walking around looking like one giant disease.  Thankfully my face seems to be under much better control this week.  That is probably the most frustrating part for me.  Also I am overwhelmingly grateful that the spreading to my mouth, inside my ears, and soles of my feet has been the most short-lived part of this whole thing.  Unbelievably uncomfortable, but quick healing.  I can deal with it that way.  After two dr appointments this week, I get a reprieve for a little over a week until I have to go back for treatment with injections.  Or as my dermatologist likes to say "Oh, Damn!  It's back!  Well, we'll do the shots in the butt."  Except he says it "Day-em!"  It's funny.  I can't tell if he's trying to sound hip, black, or younger, but even though he says it every time, it still cracks me up.  I have to say the request for photos for his files every time I have a breakout are interesting.  Oh well, I used to be known for being an over-achiever, I guess I'm just still trying to apply that to all areas.  

I have filled four prescriptions this week.  Would have been five, but I really don't like one of the things I was prescribed, so I chose not to fill it.  Hopefully it won't make too much of a difference.  Two of my prescriptions cost 24 cents and 29 cents.  The others were just a few dollars.  I felt so bad for the woman in front of me that had to pay $67 for a bottle of Omniceff.  Ouch.  And that was with medicaid due to her deductible (the pharmacist was WAY loud, I'm not that nosy!).  She also had two other prescriptions and her total was over $100.  Double ouch.  I am super grateful for insurance.  

January ends in one week.  Where'd it go?  That means just a little over a month until I get to go to So Cal.  Woo-hoo!!

When I was at the store this morning I bought five boxes of graham crackers.  They are all in the same bag.  The bag that I now cannot find.  And it was one of only two bags I brought home.  Where the heck is it?  I really want some graham crackers now!  Didn't I have this issue a couple of months ago?  Maybe I should check the freezer.  

I just realized that I forgot to take my meds this morning.  I'm supposed to take them with food.  I want to take them with graham crackers.  The ones I cannot find.  

Lincoln is sitting on my lap and feels warm.  I hope he is not getting sick.  January seems to be the sicko month at our house almost every year.  Maybe next year we can just skip January.  

I'm hungry now.  So I'm going to go eat.  If I can find my crackers.  

Happy Saturday.

Really? REALLY?

Um,

Just,


well.....

huh.

Really?

Really.

Since Sleep evades me in my current state, and the only other thing I really want to do is eat, I'm blogging instead. Besides, maybe it will give LL something else to chuckle at. Thanks btw for laughing, the mental picture of you trying not to laugh actually made me laugh. :)

I think I may not ever leave the house again. At least not on haircut day.

Go ahead over to Aaron's blog, check out the video. Read the story. Riiiiight. Dallin's idea. uh-huh. You can tell it was a day I wasn't home.  Note the stuff everywhere, no one's hair combed (including Malia's, although I suppose that won't be a problem for most of them anymore), yadda yadda yadda, *sigh*  Apparently I was gone too long.  It's a good thing I love my husband.

So why am I afraid of my parents' reaction when they get home from their vacation next weekend?

This is what happens when I let Aaron watch old home movies. He and Taylor were Dr Evil and Mini Me for Halloween one year. It was cute. It was funny.  Really.  It's not Halloween. It's January.

Oh well.

It'll grow back.  

And it made it really easy to spot the kids in the hallway at church.  The little glowing white beacons dodging back and forth.  I do feel bad for the people who sat behind us on Sunday though, they nearly needed sunglasses. 

If you see a big red handprint on my husband's bald head, you'll know why.

Making a Happy Home Monday

It's that time again-Monday!

Time to recover from the weekend. This week it's a double whammy since I have truly done the minimum for the past few days. (see the spot)

So at least I have this motivation from LL to get something done.

For those who missed the last round, here's the scoop. The idea behind Making a Happy Home Monday is to find an area of your home that needs to be a bit happier. This is very easy to do. All you have to do is tackle one thing that has been on your to-do list FOREVER!!! You know those jobs.....sweep behind the fridge, clean out the back corner of the closet, wipe down the baseboards behind the couch....the stuff that isn't seen, but it sure would be nice to be "happy."
Make it a big project. Make it a small project. Make it clean. Make it more functional. Whatever you choose, make it a happier.

Thanks to my current spot (ha!), I needed today to be something big. Something to make me feel productive after a lot of days of just feeling like, well, blah.
Thus today, I conquered.......The Office.

In our house, "the office" is also the homeschool center, the sewing room, craft room, editing room (photo and video), as well as where I work out-thus the big ball under the desk. Lately it has become the dumping ground for everyone. I think that is because it is easier to just stick it here than unlock mom and dad's room (which is supposed to be off limits anyway) and pile it there. Because of that, Aaron's desk contained all sorts of who knows what, while mine, which doubles as the sewing table, contained a little bit of everything from clothes that need a button replaced, to the nerf dart that needs to be hot-glued back together, to a picture frame with a broken stand, and everything in between. Also, this pile started growing on the floor. To be honest I didn't even know what was in it aside from my bags of fabric that had been unceremoniously pulled from the closet by curious little hands. My current project was sitting neatly on my chair. This is the result of the rest of the family sticking their fingers in the pot:

Ouch.

really.

and I thought the closet was embarrassing.


Hear the heavens part and the angels sing- I found my desk! And the floor!



(yes, those are my current projects still hanging on the chair-hopefully they'll get finished tomorrow!)
In a perfect world I would have touched up the paint over where the dings in the wall have been patched, put up the chair rail, and done the window treatment as well, but quite frankly, I was impressed with myself for getting out of bed this morning, so anything else was just icing on the cake. Those can be other projects for other days.

Thanks LL!

Out damn'd spot! Out I say!

For those of you who didn't sleep through high school English, you'll probably recognize this from MacBeth.

What you may not know is that it is also from a lesser know entry in the Dick and Jane readers, when Mother has finally had it with the dog.

This is also the thought that runs through my mind every time I look in the mirror lately.

Spot was my nickname as a kid.

I know, seems mean to call your kid by a name typically reserved for dogs, but I think it's safe to say that I earned it.

I'm in the middle of about the worst outbreak I think I've ever had. I suppose the good news is that it's January so people don't look at me strange when I'm covered as much as humanly possible. That was a little awkward last time this happened, as it was the end of April, then into May and June when I was wandering around looking like a leper. Good times.  Those are the days when a burka doesn't sound so bad.

Just in case anyone was wondering, it's actually a form of psoriasis called guttate psoriasis. I had strep two weeks ago, but apparently didn't get it treated fast enough. When this happens to me my immune system freaks out and voila, I explode in this lovely little display. I'm kind of torqued that it's made me so freakishly sick this time. No, I'm not posting pictures of it, although if you've seen me, it's pretty hard to miss. Last time my face was mostly spared, this time-not so much. And yesterday brought an oh-so-exciting twist when it also appeared on my feet, including the soles, as well as inside my mouth.

Wait-let's hit the numbers here. Of those with psoriasis my form is "rare (affecting approximately 10% of psoriasis sufferers), usually afflicting young adults between the ages of 14-30." Apparently my immune system didn't get the memo that I hit that milestone birthday last year. Although the first time I had it I was also only about 10yrs old, so whatever. Also I figured that couldn't possibly be what was bothering my mouth yesterday so I did a little research. Oh look-yet another "relatively uncommon" thing (I think I found an estimate of roughly 3%?)-even for those with severe psoriasis, that I've managed to drum up. My biggest fear is that the massive stiffness that has just completely taken over me for the past few days is due to psoriatic arthritis, something I really really REALLY do not want to tack on to my list of new additions to this game. It got bad enough that I ended up spending Friday in bed (hopefully that will be the only day completely down), and it has totally put me behind in everything I do every day. Which explains why I haven't been caught up on emails and everything else any of you may be waiting on-sorry!

So-for those nearby, NO, I'm not contagious. Thank goodness! Your kids can still play with my kids and they won't walk away with any freak germs or anything. And if you see me walking funny, it's just the spots on the feet. Or if I sound funny when I talk now, it's just the ones in the mouth. And yes I'm still functional, and completely stubborn. : )

SO-what's the good news in all of this? It's not on the palms of my hands-Hallelujah!!!  Also, one of the first things the dermatologist always tells me (in a very forceful manner with his eyes bugging out-fun guy) is "eliminate anything extra!  You are not allowed any stress.  NO stress."  Ok, I really do try.  I have almost completely cleared everything from my schedule for the next month+.  And last but certainly not least, one of the prescribed treatments that really does make a difference in this whole shebang is phototherapy. Yay!  I'm all for a good tan in the middle of winter-especially when it comes sans guilt at the direction of a dermatologist. Now if I could only get the insurance to just buy me my own light bed.....

Making a Happy Home Monday

I check my friend LL's blog every Monday to see what she's been up to. I LOVE this idea! It often seems so overwhelming to get the house put back together after the weekend (what is it about Saturday and Sunday??), and this is a fun little tidbit to help get things in working order again. I've taken inspriation from her and have been doing this for myself for a while, but have just never gotten around to taking pictures, so hopefully today will be the first of many Mondays where I actually get it done, and document it. That way when Aaron wonders what I do all day, I'll have pictures to show him! (just kidding Aaron! ha!)

The idea behind Making a Happy Home Monday is to find an area of your home that needs to be a bit happier. This is very easy to do. All you have to do is tackle one thing that has been on your to-do list FOREVER!!! You know those jobs.....sweep behind the fridge, clean out the back corner of the closet, wipe down the baseboards behind the couch....the stuff that isn't seen, but it sure would be nice to be "happy."

Make it a big project. Make it a small project. Make it clean. Make it more functional. Whatever you choose, make it a happier.

Today: The dreaded hall closet. Between the sheer number of children in my house, and the fact that everything seems to go in the hall closet (aka the linen, game, puzzle, storage of little odds and ends closet), it is often one of those, just kick it in and shut the door quickly and pretend you didn't notice the chaos kind of things. I try to get to it before one ends up clobbered by opening the door, but it was definitely in need of some help this week!

Before (embarrassing!):
(the top half)

(the bottom half)


After:
Yay!
After I finished the laundry there were considerably more towels, but now it's nice and neat and full of clean towels (that will hopefully last at least two days this week).

Triathlon blog

Head's up for all those planning on May in AF or August up at Jordanelle-the Triathlon Blog for our little group is up and running again! The swim class info is up there for those who are needing a little re-work from those days of swimming lessons as a kid (like me)!

Interview with a vampire, oops, er, with ME

I found this fun little thing over at my friend Lisa's blog. I figured I'd let her see what she could throw at me, so she e-mailed me 5 questions that I will now attempt to answer. Here we go!

1. When/ how will you know that your family is complete?
You mean one day I have to stop having babies? : ) Honestly, I'll just know. You know that head count that you constantly do when you are out in public with your kids to make sure they are all there? We do it ALL the time. Out in pulic, at church, at home, ALL the time. And someone is always missing. We end up recounting a couple of times to make sure everyone is there, and as we run through each of the kids we realize that everyone who is here is there, but it's very obvious that someone is still missing. Once we count heads and don't recount with that panic feeling of "who's not here?", we'll be done. That will be an interesting feeling after all these years of feeling like someone is missing!

2. How do you like having the bigger kids in public school?
This year it's actually just Malia and Jacob in PS, Taylor and Alaina are doing online school here at home. Honestly, there are some things I adore about PS and some things that I abhor about it, but this year I'm very happy with those two being there. Jacob has the best K teacher that has ever walked the planet (seriously-I adore this woman!), and Malia is really enjoying herself. (just for the record her teacher seems like a great guy, I just don't know him as well as I know Jacob's) Admittedly, there are some days that I wish all 4 of the older kids were there, but there really are just as many days that I wish they were all still homeschooled. It depends on the day. : )

3. What do you look forward to most in 2009?
High School Musical 3 on dvd! Feb 17th! Woo-hoo!
Just kidding.  um, kind of. ; )
There are so many fun things coming up that I'm looking forward to this year! I'm excited for the fun milestones that Charlotte will reach, there are so many exciting milestones that happen this first year. I am actually looking forward to completing the dreaded triathlon, but right now I'm MOST looking forward to Southern California in about 6 weeks. Mom and Dad spoiled us with a trip to Disneyland for Christmas, so we'll drive down to So Cal the last days of Feb and they'll fly out and meet us there for a couple of days. I am SO excited!!! (yes that would be 3 exclamation points Aaron) And even better, this will be the first time ever that I will get to finally ride the roller coaster at California Adventure! Every time we've been there since it was built I've been pregnant, except one year and it was shut down that year. I'm a roller coaster junkie so I'm really looking forward to that.

4. What is your favorite quality within yourself?
Nice question Lisa! Heck, I don't know! I guess giving people the benefit of the doubt? I feel like in general I try to be optimistic about life and especially about people, figuring that there is always a reason for the way they are or the things they do, and if we just knew what it was and where they were coming from, we'd understand them better. And until we know more about them we'd best not make assumptions or judgements. Though I will admit I have had plenty of moments of just jumping to my own conclusions, I really try not to do that b/c enough people have done that to me in the past and usually end up with a completely wrong picture of who I really am.

5. What is the best and craziest comment you’ve ever gotten in regard to your *cough* large *cough* family?
The most common thing we hear is either "don't you know how that happens?" or "you've got your hands full!" People aren't as clever as they think they are! So honestly I love hearing what else people can come up with!
The best would of course be anything positive-usually from old people complementing us on "such a beautiful family" or "good for you, what a blessing to have so many children" or things like that. Those really just make my day.
The craziest was probably when someone offered to buy us cable TV so we had something else to do! lol :P

Want to be part of it? Follow these instructions:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

No Going Back Now!

I did it.

I am now officially registered for my first triathlon!

But only after calling Maryanne to make sure that she's doing it too. Geesh-what a chicken I am! : )

Now ladies-I'm expecting some of you who have talked about doing this to jump in here! This is a great one to start on because it's a Women's only race and it has a shorter swim. Woohoo! And they hand out chocolate at the finish line. really.

It will be great prep for all of you who are planning on joining our group at the Jordanelle tri in August.

Just go to www.triutah.com, and you see it there as the first event listed for 2009-the Woman of Steel Triathlon. Click on the pretty little green button to the right to register! You'll want to do it soon; last year registration was full by Feb, and knowing a few people who did it last year, who are getting more of their friends to do it with them this year, it will not surprise me if it fills up earlier this year than it did last year. So go! Sign up!

If you want to check it our more first just scroll down that page a bit to the 2008 triathlons and you can check out last years course and a ton of photos from last year's event.

So who's with me???

Reality does, in fact, bite

Because despite the fact that I thoroughly enjoyed eating myself sick and for the most part just not exercising for the past month+, it has caught up with me. A lovely extra 4 pounds to go back to working off. Think thin thoughts, right?

Oh well! It all tasted good!!!

At least it was a good reminder that what you eat really does make a difference in how you feel! (and how well you fight off sickness! blech. ) So now I'm ready and raring to go with the new goals and all that rot.

Since today marks my fresh new start that we all seem to crave with a new year, I'm happy to say that I'm being much better! For some reason I can't do that whole Jan 1 start thing, I need the first Monday of the year to get myself in gear. I think it's just the holiday hangover thing (no, not from alcohol!). Besides, who really wants to get up early and start working out and all that after a New Year's Eve party? not me. Thus, I start today!

Thankfully with that standard weight-loss goal I get other motivating starts at random times not in Jan (every time I have a baby!), and since I thankfully did well enough with that one last time around, the bounce back there shouldn't be too tough, right? (crossing fingers) And then considering that I have to be accountable to those who are doing the triathlon with me, I should have plenty of motivation. Although I will admit that the main motivation here come in the form of the jeans a size smaller that I bought in Nov, fit me perfectly in Nov, and now fit snugly on the hips carrying the extra 4lbs from the holidays. Hey, a girl appreciates a pair of jeans that fit well! Especially with a smaller number! : )

All right-enough with that!

Other than getting my hiney in gear, I'm hoping to be much more organized than I have been lately. I'm hoping to join my friend LL in the weekly "Making a Happy Home Monday" blogging. I have actually been trying to do it, I just haven't taken pics and posted, so I'd like to get around to that.
I'd like to be better organized with schooling, and make sure we are getting plenty of FUN activities worked in. On the calendar so far: Space camp and Ice skating. Looking forward to both of those.

I'd like to learn something new, and improve some of the old things too. : )

Mostly, I'd like to improve the way I act, specifically the example I set for my kids and the way I spend my time. I keep hearing in my mind a line from one of my favorite movies, The Other Side of Heaven. (if you haven't seen it, go watch it!). "I must set a better example." Although spoken by Tomasi with the accent, it sounds much better! It is silly of me to expect my children to speak gently if I raise my voice. It is silly of me to expect them to be patient with one another if I don't first set a better example by being more patient with them. Why should I expect them to keep their rooms clean if I don't set a better example with my own room?
As far as the way I spend my time-I need to be more discriminatory with my choices, especially in entertainment. While I don't think my choices are particularly bad, I can think of a few movies I could have (and probably should have) turned off recently. I remember how liberated I felt when we got rid of our tv (reception), suddenly we had so much time! Now I fear we've let the computer encroach upon that too much. Movies as well. I'd like to spend a whole lot less time with a screen on!

I look forward to the changes that I can make in my life in the coming months; to learning and growing and improving. I look forward to the changes that will happen with our family as each of the kids grow and learn this year....it never ceases to amaze me just how much they change over a short period of time.

Here's to a new year!

(and eventually to a few minutes to throw together some pictures of Christmas so I can put those up!)