Monday, June 16, 2008

Week in Review

The whole long week. For those who asked for it-hey, you asked for it! :)

By now I think everyone knows that awful news that Monday morning brought. I realized by mid-day that a few of the people who stopped by the house that day and caught me in the midst of my emotional reaction didn’t get why I was so upset at the whole thing. I realized by the end of that day that when I was asked “what’s wrong”, it suddenly made a whole lot more sense when I told people “a very dear friend of ours died-who also happened to be my OB”, instead of “my dr died”-which most people agreed stinks when you are 8 months pregnant but didn’t convey why I was so upset by the news. Honestly, I’m still processing the whole thing, and I think it will be even harder when I go back to the dr’s office on Thursday for my next appointment and he isn’t there. It was almost like he was on vacation when I went in for my last appointment, especially because his staff was still there. There was a great tribute to him in the paper yesterday by the President of the County Medical Society that very appropriately touched on the gift that he was to those whom he served.

Well, I made it through the day. and the house was clean. That was enough.

Wednesday was a hard day again for me. I took a cheesecake to each of my dr appointments, because it was one thing that my dr loved. I’m not sure how I even stumbled upon that little tidbit of info honestly. I think I just took one in to be nice once, or for a holiday or something, and every appointment after that he always mentioned how much he loved my cheesecake and how I should open a store and be the Mrs. Fields of cheesecakes. That started the tradition of me showing up with a cheesecake each time I was in the office. Since I knew his staff would still be there (and it couldn’t hurt to have treats while meeting the new dr, right?), I baked a cheesecake to take with my to my appointment. As corny as it sounds, I’ll probably always think of Hamer when I make a cheesecake.
I made it though the morning ok, but as I got in the car to head out to pick up Aaron (who thankfully was able to join me for this appointment) I lost it again. I finally had to just turn off the radio and drive in silence because every time I started to finally get control of my emotions, some song would come on that would send me into tears again. I picked up Aaron, we detoured to pick up Taylor’s suit, then we headed up to the office. I did fine until we pulled into the parking lot. By the time we got to the front door, I was a mess again. Thankfully Aaron understood, and hasn’t been bothered that it has been so hard for me to deal with this loss.
It was difficult to be there and see that my dr’s pictures were all down (he had a big board of all the pics that people send him of their kids), but it was great that his staff was still there. We spent quite some time talking with them about the whole thing, and though it was of course sad, it was great to talk to them about it. They were very complimentary and recalled many comments that Hamer had made about Aaron and I over the years. The other dr’s receptionist piped up and said “WE’VE heard all about you, and we don’t even work for him!”, so at least they all know who we are! ; )
While it was odd to see another dr, he was very kind and very understanding-though it is a bit awkward to really meet someone for the first time under those circumstances. Dr Langeland and Hamer had known each other since med-school in the early 70’s and have shared an office since they both began practicing. So he was taking over as many extra patients as he could, while mourning the loss of his good friend. It is reassuring to at least know that my care is in the hands of someone who loved, appreciated and knew well the dr that we will miss so much. I know that Hamer and his staff all have always been very complimentary of Dr. Langeland, so hopefully we will get along with him well and it will be as smooth as transition as possible.

That night Aaron put together a video of pictures for my Grandma’s viewing as well. That loss I had been dealing with quite well. Until then. Each time we looked through the pictures I would do ok until about halfway through when the floodgates would just open again. *sigh* That’s when I knew I wouldn’t do so well on Friday.

Thursday was mostly spent getting ready for the weekend, since Friday was going to be eaten up with family things. I checked in with my mom to see if there was anything we could do to help her with things for the funeral, and thankfully my sister was there with her getting things done, as she seemed to be having a hard time getting through the day. Everything was taken care of there, so I spent the day cleaning up the house and getting ready for company, as well as trying to get things put together and hidden for a little surprise getaway for Aaron and I.
People had called and offered to take the kids to play so that I could get some things done-what a life saver! I actually felt like for the first time that week I had a productive day.
My little surprise on Thursday came in the form of Aaron saying to me “you remember that my mom is staying with us this weekend when she’s in town, right?”. Ummmm, NO! I don’t remember! He is still insistent that he told me, I’m pretty sure I would have remembered that considering I had planned for us to be out of town..... I realized after the way I reacted (not totally mean, but not exactly happy) that it probably looked as if I was being the jerk wife who didn’t want my mother-in-law staying at my house. So after some quick consulting with a co-conspirator, I decided to tell Aaron that his mom couldn’t stay with us on Saturday because we wouldn’t be home that evening.

I have yet to be able to plan a real big surprise without some blip coming up that spoils it before it happens. Oh well. At least at that point he understood why I had reacted to the news of him mom staying with us the way I did. And I didn’t look like such a jerk any more! We made arrangements for MIL to stay with us on Thursday and Friday nights instead of through the weekend. Phew!


Friday was an interesting day. Aaron worked that morning since the funeral wasn’t until the afternoon. He was able to leave a little earlier than planned and made it home to help me get the kids all ready and out the door. Between cleaning the house that morning (I knew there wouldn’t be time that night), and getting everyone going, it was just a crazy morning. My mother-in-law was helpful in keeping the kids occupied with stories once they were dressed, so at least we didn’t have to change anyone’s clothes from the constantly occurring disasters that seem to accompany this many kids running around.

Our original plan was to skip most of the viewing for Grandma, just because we didn’t know how the kids would do being there for the full hour of the viewing before the funeral, and then sitting through the funeral as well. We did take them all-it was a graveside service so we knew it would be shorter. I’m so glad that we did. We did end up being at the viewing the whole time. I did better than I thought.....about every five minutes. The last time I had talked to my dad had been on Monday when I broke into tears at the news of Hamer’s death-the first time he saw me at the viewing I was in tears again. He walked over and said “well, it’s nice to see that you’ve cheered up!” We (my family) have a twisted sense of humor that gets us through the awkward emotional moments. : ) Alaina started feeling sick at the viewing, we figured it was just the whole emotional aspect of everything-thankfully MIL was there and just sat with her the whole time. It was so sweet to see how many of my parent’s friends were there to support them. It was amazing to see the turnout. Many of my cousins from out of state made arrangements to be there. Most of them I haven’t seen since my wedding. (my how things change in 11yrs! lol) Though there were plenty of tears, there was much laughter and so many fun stories-as far as funerals go, it was a good one. ; )

I love this picture of my mom and her sisters (except Danna who you can't see in this one) all smiling and laughing at one of the stories about their mom....

We had planned to go to Hamer’s viewing that night since we couldn’t make it to the one on Saturday morning (or to the funeral) because it was at the same time as Taylor’s baptism. Unfortunately by the time Grandma’s funeral was over, and we had stopped at the family lunch afterward, we realized that Alaina was really not well-she was getting a fever, feeling worse, and falling asleep. I was absolutely drained, and the kids were done with the day (they were excellent all day!), and it was still over an hour before the viewing started. I felt awful, but we made the decision to skip it. I still feel bad that we did not go-especially since I grew up with his kids. I know that there were hundreds of people there (literally), so I’m sure his family was very busy all night...Had we not spent the whole day doing funeral already, I would love to have gone. We will very much miss him!

And now I would love to just have a very boring rest of the month....


Kelsey said...

I love those pics!

Lisa said...

Happy Birthday Taylor!
Congratulations on the baptism and weekend away.
Prayers for peace and healing.