Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Oh dear, what's come over me???

Ok, it's probably just the pregnancy hormones. Or I'm just finally revealing more of my true irritability! (let's hope it's the pregnancy!)

While I am an avid "letter to the editor" reader, I usually just roll my eyes to myself, or in extreme cases, take my venting to my husband. He got used to it years ago I promise. Recently someone wrote a letter spouting off on the appropriate age to marry. I have no idea what their motivation was. Why someone randomly decided to tell the world that 18 to 20 years old is much too young to marry, and risk having it print (in utah, hello?) is beyond me. Maybe they were trying to express their opinion to a friend or family member and didn't have the guts to do it directly. Who knows. But really-what is the point? And what does it have to do with anything relevant to rest of the world?

You all know I married young. Some still contend that it was too young. Some still think that I was pushed into marriage and have been pushed into having all these ("too many") children. Riiiiiight. Because I'm such the type to just roll over and not have an opinion of my own, right? HAHAHAHAHA! Obviously these people do not know me as well as they think they do! Sadly, many of those who kept telling me how wrong I was when I was getting married are now themselves divorced, some two or three times! Already. Ouch. Some my dear husband and I have watched "wait until the perfect person/job/time/financial situation rolls around"....and now may have missed their chance completely and hate the fact that they are alone and wish nothing more than that they could be married and have a family. I'm not saying it's ever too late-Aaron has an uncle getting married next month for the first time at 50 something! And I hope it works out well for him!

So what's my point? Well, my point is I was finally bugged enough to actually write a letter. Odds are it won't get published, which I certainly wouldn't complain about-especially since if they do publish it they'll probably chop it up. But since this is my forum with my thoughts, I'm subjecting you to it in full. (unless you just skip it! lol)

"I can’t help but wonder why it is any of anyone’s business at which age I chose to marry. It seems to me a bit like those who jump down my throat when I’m out in public because I have six children, and *gasp* am expecting a seventh! “How dare you?” they cry. “Two or three is plenty, I’d never want THAT many!” Well, then I’m glad you stopped at two or three! And oddly, I’ve never-nor would I dare to ever tell you that you were wrong for doing so, because it is your choice. What is right for one person is not right for everyone. Oddly enough, many of those that hounded me 12 years ago about being too young to even consider marriage and waited themselves until years later are now divorced (some more than once) while my husband and I are still as happy as can be. Unfortunately many of those who do wait until they are into their 30’s to marry have often “found” too much of themselves to be willing to adapt to the changes that marriage brings. The key is to be willing to put the work and commitment into marriage that it requires, whenever in your life it may come. There are people I know who at just eighteen years of age are much more mature than others that I know who are thirty. There is no “magic age” at which it is correct for everyone to get married, but I’m glad I found my magic when I did. I’m happy to have started “too young”, happy that I’m having my children “too young”, and greatly reducing my odds of the many risks that accompany pregnancy as you get older. Not to mention that when I’m in my 50’s, my kids will all be grown and on their own, and my husband and I have time to go “find ourselves” again while we grow old together, while many of our friends will still be home trying to manage life with kids while old enough to be offered the senior discount!"

10 comments:

Justin said...

Awesome post! I hope your letter gets published. I agree with having kids young, so you can be young empty nesters. Perhaps I want to avoid the generation gap that existed because my Dad is 47 years older than my youngest brother : )

justdawn said...

Dang, you're cranky;) heh

Shilo said...

I can't tell you how much I agree with you on this topic! Eric and I have said the same thing about when our kids are grown and out of the house we will still have time to do the things we want to do.
I am glad you sent a response and I too hope it gets published!

Kelsey said...

he he! Get outta her way :)
How dare you....hehe! You don't have to rub it in that I'll be 60 when my kids graduate high skoo!

Kelsey said...

you're an angry elf!

Catey said...

you must be a South Pole elf.....

Rheanna said...

I love it! Sometimes we just need to share our thoughts and I hope it gets published. Believe it or not, I've had more grief since I've been in Utah for marrying at 19 than I ever did before I moved here! You're doing a great job and you can be as cranky as you want :o)!

Lisa said...

Well-said and I agree 100%. I hope that it does get published. Keep us posted!

Cindi said...

Well said. My mom had all 7 kids before she was 30. She's 52 now and enjoying my dad(we're all married now). Besides, we had a blast growing up together.

Snow Family said...

I think it is awesome what you are doing! You have a cute family. Did you know that Matthew's grandmother has 13 children. I have seen what a blessing her posterity has been for her and for Matthew. It's brought so much joy.

PS. we came out to EM last Saturday. What a beautiful place to live! We love it already and are 99% sure we are going to build. I'll let you know!