I've been horrible at journaling this pregnancy. Last time around I recorded every little detail. I have a box full of info and pictures from every appointment, and a separate personal blog to record everything.
This time around...I have a million excuses.
Dear daughter in my womb: Please don't hate me and feel slighted. It will all come full circle I promise. One day the older kids will complain about how spoiled you are at the end of the family, how you get away with things that Mom and Dad would never have let them do and have so many more privileges. Just wait. I promise I'll make up for being a total slacker at recording every minute of my pregnancy with you.
Something struck me this week as I headed to my 30 week appointment.
No, not that I'm already 30 weeks (Whoa! Where did the past few months go?!), but the difference in pregnancies.
Last time around at 30 weeks, my appointment was a few hours long. A very thorough ultrasound with lots of measurements and lots of details. Full anatomy scan and growth measurements. The regular pregnancy check up fun (step on the scale, pee in a cup, bp check, all the good stuff), and a run down on "how are things?" with the midwife. Then a meeting with our perinatologist with the latest of what we could and couldn't see with today's ultrasound. With how measurements are stacking up on baby's growth curve. Numbers on how much his head has grown, how much his ventricles have expanded, how much fluid has distorted the view via ultrasound. Thankfully that was followed with how great he was looking and how active he was, how optimal things looked for his condition. My 30wk appointment last time around also included an MRI. That was not the most fun thing I've ever done. Not the worst, but for someone who is already slightly claustrophobic to be rolled into a little tube while sporting a seriously expanded girth...it's not something I'd like to repeat.
Reading back on the last time around is sobering. Every day was a question. Every morning when I woke up I laid in bed waiting for Sam to move, to prove to me he was still there. There was a lot of soul searching, a lot of wondering.
"I wonder if I am up to the task before me. I wonder if that task for me is having the strength to let go, or the strength to carry on. I wonder how much time we will have with our son; if it will be minutes, days, or years. I wonder how it will affect our other children. I wonder which drs he will prove wrong....will it be the drs who presented the worst case scenarios in the beginning, or those who have been more hopeful and encouraging."
Oh how different things are now! My 30 week appointment this time was 15 minutes-the regular run down. And that's it. Well, aside from my midwife laughing about me still using a hair elastic to keep my pants together and encouraging me to take the plunge and get out the maternity pants and reminiscing about how much she loved the giant stretchy panel. And her trying to convince me to come up with some complaint. I finally came up with the fact that I'm getting some acid reflux which is annoying. And the fact that my running is starting to taper and my distances drop. She was glad that I came up with something to complain about and then we laughed about what my complaints are.
For those of you who are pregnancy obsessed like I am, here is the rundown I so faithfully logged each week last time around:
Weight gain: 30lbs (exact same weigh-in today as last time around at 30wks!)
Maternity Clothes: Nope, not yet. Holding on to a few last pair of pants that still work (without elastics on the button!), but likely to give in and take the plunge within the next two weeks or so.
Sleep: For the most part, like a rock. Thank goodness!
Best moment this week: 4 miles with the double jogger, with Lincoln (5) and Sam! Lincoln is heavy. But I finished feeling pretty darn tough. Also, Aaron finished this quarter of school this week! Almost done! YAY! Oh, and doing Hapari tv spots is fun with the belly! No worry of sucking in, making an effort to stick the belly out instead. Good times.
Symptoms: Expanding girth. A little acid reflux. I am beat by the end of the day but feel great otherwise!
Movement: So much! I love every little poke. I love that she is so strong and I can feel her limbs poking around and rolling along the inside of my hip. I love watching my belly jump.
Belly Button: Ah, the sunrise. Thanks to the hernia (that manifested at the very end of pregnancy #6), it's out on the top, flat on the bottom. But the hernia hasn't grown at all!
Attitude: Would this be a better question for Aaron to answer? I can recall only one really hard day this pregnancy. Otherwise, I just feel so relieved and grateful that everything is fine.
Food Cravings: Yes. I'm always hungry. I particularly love fruit right now, especially strawberries. Also cheese sticks are fabulous.
Food Aversions: As is typical for me during pregnancy, red meat isn't so great. A lot of days candy turns my stomach too. I know, pick your jaw up off the floor.
Gender: As confirmed three times now, girlie girl!
Labor Signs: Nada. Cervix of steel staying true to it's reputation, which is great for running. Plenty of Braxton Hicks contractions, which take me back to reminiscing about having tight abs....
What I miss: My regular jeans, hard workouts
What I'm looking forward to: Every day left with this little girl inside me, and eventually holding her in my arms. Labor/delivery without all the medical worry from last time. Kids are out of school in 10wks!
Weekly Wisdom: Life itself is the greatest fairy tale
Milestones: Hitting the 30s. Single digit weeks countdown.
How could I possibly complain?
I have no constant fear about my baby this time.
We have done more ultrasounds than normal, just to make sure everything still looks good since there is an increased risk in hydrocephalus and brain abnormalities once that has occurred, and everything looks perfect.
I'm a little annoyed that with an anterior placenta (it's attached up front) I don't see as much crazy baby movement as I normally would, but this little girl is still fabulously active! There is no doubt that she is thriving. A fact confirmed by the last ultrasound pictures of her face, her cheeks in all their Augustus Gloop-like glory.
To have to think up complaints, and have them be so ridiculously minor, I'm feeling as blessed as I could possibly be! To not be continually worried about how soon we need to get baby out leaves me (for now) totally fine with her hanging out till her magic due date rolls around.