0.35/32, 5 days later...

Five long days later.
Five days of chiropractic, massage, rest, heat, stretching and tens unit.

The good news:  I can stand up, and I am almost completely straight when I do so!  I can get Emily in and out of her crib and high chair.  I can get up from a chair without help.  I am finally (mostly) functional again.

The bad news:  I still can't run.

The good news: I still have 15 days till marathon.

The bad news: I only have 15 days till marathon.

Those numbers up there?  My mileage this week.
First week of taper meant only 32 miles on the plan for this week, I have run 0.35.  That's right, just over 1/3 of a mile.  At a pace two full minutes slower than I averaged over 20 miles last Saturday.   On Wednesday afternoon my chiro gave me the go ahead to try easing back into running.  I gave it one more day, heading out yesterday with the intent of running a mile or two.  I got around the block and knew that wasn't happening, so I headed home.  I guess the good news is that I actually ran that little distance, which is something I haven't been able to do for so many days?

This is not boding well for my mental state.

My back being out this time is definitely the worst it has ever been.  Which ironically is what my chiropractor said to me when I hobbled in on Monday afternoon.  I'd be lying if I said that this didn't worry me.

I built an awesome base before officially starting this training cycle, I have had an awesome training cycle.  Everything has lined up so nicely.  I've missed a couple of runs here and there, no biggie.  I missed one 16 miler thanks to a stomach flu.  Oh well.  But being completely out at this point is really freaking me out.  Especially as I've just revamped my goals for this race and should be lined up to kill this thing (relative to my last one).

A friend suggested that maybe this is a blessing in disguise.  Maybe it is.  Maybe my body needed a week of rest to avoid some injury that would have ended up a bigger issue.
Or maybe it's my punishment for ditching church on Sunday to go to Moab.  Just kidding.  Mostly.

I keep trying to get outside of my over-thinking, turn it around to how I would approach it if it were a friend of mine stuck in this spot, and apply the same advice I've given to friends frustrated by injuries.  I would tell her that a week off isn't going to ruin anything.  I would tell her to be patient, to just rest and relax and let her back get better.  I would tell her to trust her training and all of the hard work she has put in, and to trust her body.   And very worst case, it's just one race-if it doesn't go as hoped, there will be others.

Sometimes it's incredibly hard to listen to your own advice.